Are Your Emails Too Polite? How to Find the Right Tone

When you’re writing a professional email, of course you want to sound polite. Even if you’re writing to complain about a problem, it’s more effective to display some class and good manners rather than being rude. A polite tone also helps you form better relationships with your colleagues and supervisors at work (or with your professors and classmates, if you’re in school).

However, sometimes politeness can go too far. Consider the following example:

Will you please kindly send me the documents for the ZZZ account if it isn’t too much of a bother?

The writer of this email clearly wants to show respect to the recipient. But instead of sounding confident and professional, this person comes off as insecure, apologetic, and lacking in self-esteem. Emails like this can also sound “foreign” even if the writer’s English is technically correct!

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at why “too polite” can be a problem, how cultural differences sometimes play a role, and how you can find the right balance between respectful and confident in your English emails.

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Politeness and Culture

Standards for politeness vary widely across different cultures. In some languages, showing respect means using very formal expressions or adding extra honorifics. In other cultures, it’s considered rude or demanding to make a direct request, especially if you are addressing someone in a position of authority. So if you’re used to writing a certain way in your native language, you might think your English emails aren’t respectful unless you add phrases like “I humbly request” or “if it isn’t too much trouble.”

By contrast, in most English-speaking cultures (especially in business settings), “polite and professional” writing usually means sounding confident rather than overly humble. Native English speakers expect to see business emails with common polite expressions like “please” and “thank you”, but too much formality is likely to be viewed as old-fashioned or unnatural. Native speakers also tend to prefer emails that are clear and straight to the point because they take less time to read.

Indirect requests might also lead to misunderstandings. When a native speaker reads a phrase like “if it isn’t too much of a bother”, they will probably assume your request isn’t important. That means they won’t prioritize it. You’re more likely to get a quick response if you tell a native speaker you need something “as soon as possible” or “by the end of the day”.

Understanding these cultural differences can help you adapt your tone so your message is both respectful and effective.

Common “Too Polite” Phrases, Plus Some Alternatives

The table below lists some phrases that are too polite for everyday business emails, along with some alternatives that sound more natural:

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Why These Changes Matter

1. Clarity: Shorter, simpler wording makes it easier for your reader to understand your main point.
2. Confidence: Polite, but direct phrases show that you view yourself as a professional who respects others–and that you aren’t afraid to ask for respect in return.
3. Natural, Modern Style: Many phrases from textbooks and classic literary works are seldom used in a 21st century business environment.

More Guidelines

• Only use “please” once. More than that sounds like you’re begging.
• Save your apologies for actual mistakes. Don’t apologize for writing an email, especially if responding to emails is part of that other person’s job.
• Get to the point early. This shows you respect the other person’s time.
• Choose modern closings. “Best regards” or “Sincerely” work well for most business emails. (Need more examples? Here’s a whole article!)

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Politeness in English is important, but confidence is equally important. At TextRanch, we can fine-tune your writing so it sounds natural to native English speakers and appropriate for a business setting. If you’re worried about being “too polite,” our editors can rework your emails so they’ll strike the right balance.