Polite? Rude? Professional? Friendly? What Your Email Tone Says About You

Think about the last business email you wrote. Maybe you had some important updates to share with a colleague, client, or supervisor. Perhaps you needed to ask a question or make a request. In any case, your mind probably was on the content rather than on the tone of your email. Most of the time, people just automatically write they way they feel, or what sounds appropriate.

But did you know that your tone sometimes sends a stronger message than the actual words in your email? Your tone can make you sound casual, formal, or somewhere in between. It can make you sound friendly, rude, tired, busy, impatient, angry, and much more! Your tone can affect how your readers see you, how quickly they respond, and whether your message lands the way you intended.

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Why Tone Can Be Tricky

When you speak to someone face-to-face, your facial expression, your voice, and your body language all help set the mood. But what if you’re sending an email? All you have are words and punctuation. This means any slight adjustment can enhance your message, or result in a misunderstanding.

Let’s say you’re asking a team member to send you a report, and you need it today before 3pm. Here’s how a few tweaks to the same basic message can alter the tone of your email:

• “Send me the report by 3pm.”
  This is direct and easy to understand. But your team member might find it rude, especially since your request didn’t include the word “please”.
  
• “Could you please send me the report by 3pm?”
  This is also direct and easy to understand. But now that the request is phrased as a question and includes the word “please”, it sounds much more polite.
• “Hi Ali, could you please send me the report by 3pm? Thanks so much!”
  This opening salutation, with “Hi” followed by the reader’s first name, works in most “business casual” contexts. The author of this email sounds like a friendly, polite person who is easy to work with.
• “Could you send me the report by 3pm, please? I would appreciate your cooperation in this matter.”
  In contrast to the previous example, this email is much more formal. It is definitely polite, but this overly formal tone might come off as cold and standoffish if you’re writing to a team member you know well. But it’s possible that a high level of formality is expected in your workplace.
• “Send me the report by 3pm!”
  The tone of this email is desperate and too demanding. A “please” at the beginning of the sentence would retain the desperate tone (if that’s what the writer wants) while sounding more polite.
• “You’d better send me the report by 3pm!”
  Here, we have an email that’s threatening as well as demanding. Would you want to work with this person? Probably not.
• “Could you please kindly send me the report by 3pm if it isn’t too much trouble?”
  In a recent article, we looked at how an overly polite tone can make you sound insecure. It can also make your request seem less urgent, leading to a delayed response.

Seven emails, seven different tones, but the basic idea remains the same.

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How to Hit the Right Note

So, how do you choose the right tone? Here are a few quick things to keep in mind:

1. Who is your reader? A client or supervisor might expect a more formal tone than a close coworker.
2. What’s the context? Bad news calls for sensitivity (and a slightly more formal tone). A quick update can be short and clear.
3. Cultural differences. Some cultures prefer polite, more formal language, while others value directness. Keep in mind that “culture” can also refer to the culture of your particular workplace or field.

Quick Fixes for Better Email Tone

• Start and end your email politely. A simple “Hi” and “Thanks” makes your email sound warmer.
• Use “please” and “thank you.” These words go a long way toward softening requests.
• Check your punctuation. One exclamation point is great for emphasis! Five of them looks unprofessional!!!!! (See?)
• Do a quick read-aloud. If the email sounds too harsh in your own voice, make some adjustments to soften it.
• Double check AI-generated emails. If you are using an AI tool to help you write your emails, double check its output to make sure the tone is what you intended.
• Get feedback. Our TextRanch editors can make sure your emails sound natural, professional, and appropriate.

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The tone you use to communicate is part of your professional personality. It tells people whether you’re approachable, confident, respectful—or maybe rude. Fortunately, with a few adjustments, you can control your tone.

So before you hit “send,” ask yourself: “If I were the reader, how would this email make me feel?”

If you aren’t sure how to adjust your tone, click the blue box below to get help from our TextRanch team.